I cannot believe it is already my baby's 1st birthday! Seriously what happen to the past year?! Our lives and family have changed so much since welcoming our little Rhett into the world. I can remember every detail about being in labor and our experience at the hospital, to finally meeting our baby boy like it was yesterday. I remember feeling anxious and scared, and definitely tired, but most of all beyond excited to finally have him here. As soon as I met my son and saw that he was a thriving, healthy baby, nothing else mattered. Enduring pregnancy, and labor, and every form of child birth all became so worth it in an instant: the instant I saw my husband standing by my head with our son. Every worry, every pain, every "pregnant" hormonal breakdown, every ounce of preparation, led us to this moment.
For as long as I can remember, my goal in life was to be a wife and mother. In high school while all my friends planned their futures; where to go to school, what to major in, what career they would work towards, I remember feeling discouraged and almost ashamed because I didn't know what major or career I should be planning for. All I knew was I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I grew up. Working as a nanny for years only confirmed that. In the meantime, I went to school, worked to support myself and by 19 met my special someone. We followed the little chant we'd sing teasingly as kids: 1st comes love, then comes marriage, and then, in the summer of 2013, decided we were ready for the baby in the baby carriage. I guess God made pregnancy take 40 weeks because it gives us women more than enough time to prepare for the baby and ourselves. By week 35 you don't care what happens as long as the baby gets out healthy. And like now!
Having a baby is the most rewarding experience I've ever had. Those first couple days literally feel like you're holding a little, piece of Heaven. There isn't anything more perfect than a newborn, regardless of their shape, size, or sex. They are a perfect blessing sent from our Heavenly Father and it is humbling to realize how much faith he has in us to give us the responsibility of teaching and raising one of His precious spirits. Sometimes I can't help but tear up when I think about Rhett's birth. Not because it was physically and emotionally the hardest thing I've ever done, but because of how much love I feel for him. I got a lot of advice while pregnant with Rhett and some of it I took to heart, but a lot of it I brushed off because no one can really describe what it's like to be a mom. Everyone can relate stories and tell you how much you will love your kids but it's not something you can really understand until you experience it yourself. I had no idea how much love my heart could hold for one, little, 9 pound stranger. I had no idea my love would grow even more with each passing day since for this baby. Some days I literally feel like my heart could burst with love for this boy. I didn't know we could go so long without sleep and still function (well sort of). I never thought I was a patient person until I had my own child. I didn't know that when you hit your wit's last end and are ready to scream with frustration that your heart would still ache for your baby because he's obviously having a bad day too. When I was pregnant, people would tell my husband and I, "spend as much time together as you can because once the baby comes that's over for awhile." But no one told me it'd be even better holding each other's hand while pushing our little ball of perfection in the stroller. I didn't realize you'd have just as many cherish-able experiences with three as you did two.My baby is hardly even a baby anymore and it is crazy that we are already celebrating his first birthday!
Rhett Daniel Tyler you have brought so much joy to our lives and I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. Since day one you have brought such a sweet spirit and happiness into my life. I love you more than anyone else will ever love you. You have always been such an easy baby. We saw you smile for the first time when you were only four days old and my heart just melts every time I have seen it since. I was shocked when you came out with this light, blonde, hair and I have loved every second of watching you grow. I'm glad you look like daddy. I fell in love with daddy first, before I even knew you'd be coming and now every time I look at you, I can see both loves of my life. You are a crazy little boy, always going, and always looking to explore something new. I love your laugh, and your "dancing", and the way you light up when I show you your can of snacks. You are such a ham and love making people laugh and I hope you stay that person forever. We need more laughter in the world. You are the cutest, little chunk which is great because it means even more rolls to love! I love how excited you get when you see an animal or the pool because those are some of mommy's favorite things too. I was so nervous when I found out we were having a boy and shamefully disappointed and I've regretted it ever since. I love you! I love having you to hang out with every day. You're my best buddy. I'm glad Heavenly Father sent you as my son and as my first. You are more perfect than I could have ever asked for. As my first, you will always hold a special place in my heart that no one else can ever have. I'm sorry if life may seem unfair sometimes because of that. I'm sorry if you ever feel like the "guinea pig" child. Trust me I know how that feels but you also have advantages no one else will have. You are the only one who will ever know what it feels like to have my undivided attention every second of every day. You have taught me what it truly means to put others before myself. Rarely do I ever think ME anymore, I'm constantly thinking YOU. You have taught me patience beyond measure (sorry if sometimes I lose it, I promise I try my best). You have taught me unconditional love. Even on the rare occasion that you just cry and scream and nothing I do calms you and I just want to throw you out the window (again sorry, I wouldn't ever actually do that), I still love you're guts and my heart aches for you. You will always be my first, my baby boy. Sometimes I feel like super mom, like when I went through labor and giving birth to you and other times I feel like a total screw up, like when you fell off our bed for the first time. Please remember I'm trying my best. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you. I hope you live life to the fullest. I hope you will always know how much your mommy and daddy love you. Most importantly, I hope you will never forget you also have a Father in Heaven who loves you. It wasn't until I had you that I realized how much He must love us. Remember who you are as His son. Don't be afraid to be different. Don't be afraid to stand up for what's right, even if you're standing alone. Be a good example. Be that infectious light. Live by the gospel, in such a way that those around you will want what you have. Life is hard. Living in this world is hard and only getting worse. But I promise as hard as they may be to follow sometimes, the commandments make life so much easier and enjoyable. Thanks for loving me unconditionally back, at least for now. I know you won't always look at your mom as your best friend so I'm gonna soak it up while it lasts ;) You are beautiful inside and out. You're still little and just starting out in this crazy thing called life, but I love who you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you. You make mommy a better person. And I hope someday you will be able to say the same about me. I love you Rhett! More than you will ever know and more than I could ever describe but I love you my baby and wish you the happiest of birthdays!!! XOXO |
